Careers Advice or Why is That Leaflet Green?
by Lirulin
Summary: Does the word 'normality' even exist in the vocabulary of James Potter? ... Is there even a slight chance that his careers advice will pass normally? ... And does Prof. McGonagall survive the experience? You'll have to read and see!


**Careers Advice or Why is That Leaflet Green?**

_by Lirulin_

**Disclaimer:** Nothing in here belongs to me. If they were mine, things would certainly be different. Everything is property of the great J.K.Rowlings.

I suggest you read "Sirius' Plan For The Most Perfect Life" first, as this is somewhat of a continuation. You'll still understand the story if you don't, but please do it anyway (and leave a review while you're at it).

So, it's careers advice, like every year. But with James Potter is there any such thing as normality? Read and see...

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Professor McGonagall sighed in exhaustion and looked at the clock. Those last four hours had cost her at least two years of her life, she reckoned. But now there was only one student left, then careers advice would be over for this year. And she was extremely thankful that she would soon be leaving her office, take a nice hot bath and then go to bed immediately.

Then she saw which name was last on her list and the sigh turned into a quiet groan. Was it too much to ask for the day to end quietly? Because with one James Potter it would be anything but. She remembered the conversation she had had with Sirius Black, Potter's partner in crime, and decided that tea alone was not strong enough anymore – Calming Draught or not.

A firewhiskey was definitely in order. As soon as she had poured some into her tea, there came a knock upon her door.

"Enter!"

James Potter strode into the room, closing the door with a bang, and presenting her with an expression of grossly exaggerated innocence.

"It wasn't me, Professor! I had nothing to do with it! And anyway, you can't prove a thing!"

The professor narrowed her eyes in suspicion. She had heard those sentences way to often to believe even a word.

"What have you done now, Mr. Potter?"

James gave a visible start then, as if he just now realized why he was actually here. He grinned sheepishly.

"Done? Nothing, of course. Why would you think I have done anything? By the way, have you redecorate your office? I'm sure there's something different in here...no?"

But the professor had too much experience with this particular student and his bunch of friends to be fooled in the least by this diversion tactic.

"Oh, and why did you barge in here, instantly proclaiming your innocence?"

He looked mightily nervous now, his eyes darting around as if trying to find the escape route.

"Er... well ... because ... Because old habits die hard! That's it! It's a defensce mechanism whenever I see you, Professor!"

She raised her eyebrows in doubt, but decided not to question him further. She would find out eventually.

"If you say so, Mr. Potter... So, please sit down. I presume you know why you are here?"

A look of relief swept over the boy's features as he settled himself down in the chair in front of her desk, to be replaced by an overly confident smile.

"Of course I do! We are here to discuss exactly how brilliant my life is going to be!"

She should really have expected him to say something like that. There were few people that were so absolutely sure and convinced of themselves as James Potter. At least he hadn't started talking about recipes, like his best friend.

"If you choose to put it like that. So, do you have any ideas what you want to do once you leave Hogwarts?"

The boy seemed to ponder the question for a moment and she began to develop the faint hope that he had actually put some thought into it...

"You mean aside from becoming even more famous and sought after than I already am?"

To see it crashed only seconds later. And of course, there was also the cocky grin again. Minerva took a quick sip from her cup to calm down.

"Please be serious, Mr. Potter!"

Now he was smiling outright at her, with a glint in his eyes she knew too well, for she had seen it only a few hours before in a pair of grey eyes...

"I hadn't planned on changing my name anytime soon, ma'am. And I'm also quite sure that he doesn't like to share."

It took her a few moments to understand what he was talking about now. Really, that they were still using that age-old joke...

"Mr. Potter, do try to concentrate. Your future is no laughing matter. So, what are your career plans?"

James leaned back in his seat, put the tips of his fingers together and gazed at the ceiling for a long while.

"Well ... first I thought about becoming a professional Quidditch player. I mean, I have more than enough talent and I'm sure I could secure the World Cup for us, not to speak of the money – which I don't need –, and the girls – who I don't want – I could have.

"But then ... it would become boring after a while. What's there to do apart from training and the occasional game? I don't like things being always the same. So I'll just keep Quidditch as a hobby. Anyway, people can then say, 'If he'd played for us, we'd have won for the next 40 years.' That's a nice thought, isn't it?

"Then I thought perhaps curse-breaker for Gringotts. I would be travelling round the whole world, battling mummies and the like and finding enormous treasures. The backdrop is, that I'd have to spend way too much time in stuffy graves or under the sea or some other unpleasant place, and besides, I hate Arithmancy. No treasure is worth that pain and I wouldn't even get to keep it, I'd have to give it to those troublesome goblins. I really don't fancy working for this lot... So, I ruled that out, too.

"And then ... well, a lot of those leaflets in the Common Room were complete bullshit – sorry Professor. Who in their right mind wants to become a security troll trainer or a master herbologist or a potions researcher?

"But then I found the perfect job. It has all that I want: excitement, variety, no studying, no researching and I can make loads of money. Guess what it is!"

It took Professor McGonagall a moment to absorb everything he had said in such a rush. It was really a bit difficult to comprehend his somewhat twisted logic. And she definitely wasn't in the mood for guessing games.

"What is it, Mr. Potter?"

He was now grinning from ear to ear.

"Seer! I always knew I had the Inner Eye!"

And he touched his forehead in a dramatic gesture.

The professor sat there, completely stunned. She had expected anything but that. James looked at her for a few moments, then broke out in peals of laughter.

"You should see your face, Professor McGonagall ma'am! It's priceless! I was just kidding!"

And he doubled over, having to clutch his stomach and not being able to stop laughing.

Minerva eyed him indignantly over the rim of her glasses. He had once again succeeded in converting a serious situation into a laughing matter.

"Please compose yourself, Mr. Potter. I do not find this very funny."

James straightened up again, wiping a few tears of mirth from his eyes.

"Sorry Professor, but I think it is. Anyway, I meant to say that I want to become an Auror."

Now, that was something she could actually believe, and so she started shuffling through the papers on her desk to find the leaflet from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. She was just about to tell him which grades would be required, when she noticed quite an uncharacteristic, vacant expression on her student's face.

He was staring at one of the leaflets on the table, but she could discern nothing unusual on it. It was from the Department for the Examination and Legalization of Newly Invented Spells and Charms and she was fairly sure that he was not interested in that area.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Potter?"

He just looked at her dreamily.

"I really love this shade of green."

What was he planning now? Another "joke"?

"Mr. Potter, kindly explain yourself."

But James seemed to hardly hear her.

"It's the same colour as her eyes. They are so gorgeous, like shining emeralds! And have you noticed her hair, professor? It's red, you know, and so beautiful. It's shimmering in the sunlight..."

He was trailing of, a goofy grin on his face. By now, Minerva had caught on to what he was talking about: his never-ending infatuation with Lily Evans.

"I'm quite aware of the fact that Ms. Evans has red hair. Could we now get back to the matter at hand? The expectations you need to fulfill to become an Auror are quite high. An 'Outstanding' in Defence against the Dark Arts is mandatory and..."

Yet it was obvious that James was not listening to a word she was saying.

"She's the most wonderful person in the whole world. She's so beautiful and smart and kind and simply amazing and did I mention wonderful? I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone. I've told her, you know, but she still won't go out with me. I don't understand why. I mean, we're obviously meant for each other..."

And then he started rambling about why he and Lily Evans would be perfect together. Professor McGonagall was unable to get a word in edgewise, he was simply unstoppable. Now she actually groaned out loud and put her head in her hands, but not before draining her cup in one go.

"... and besides, I'm so handsome and charming, I don't understand why she keeps saying 'no'. I know she must be in love with me. Perhaps she's just shy and anyway..."

Suddenly the door was thrown open and in raced none other than Sirius Black, rushing over to his best friend and snapping his fingers in front of James' face.

"James! ... Prongsie! ... Mate! You're with us? Come on, get out of it! She's not here and I believe our dear professor is slowly losing it."

Minerva was beyond caring now. She was absolutely certain that those two would someday be the death of her. James blinked slowly, finally focusing his eyes on Sirius' face.

"What? ... Padfoot?! What's going on? What're you doing here?"

Sirius grinned from ear to ear and whacked him lightly over the head.

"I'm rescuing our poor Transfiguration mistress from an overdose of Lily-Evans-worshipping. And I'm getting you out of yet another of your self-induced trances."

Professor McGonagall was slowly brought out of her stupor by Sirius' chattering. What in Merlin's name was going on here?

"Mr. Black! Kindly explain what you are doing in my office! I do not remember inviting you in!"

Her voice shook slightly, though whether from anger or slowly building amusement she didn't quite know herself. Sirius looked at her incredulously.

"But Professor! I just said it! I'm your knight in shining armor, saving you from the fiend who strikes terror into people's heart with the power of 'The Evans-Talk'!"

Minerva could only shake her head . She really didn't want to know where the boy got his ideas from. Then another thought struck her.

"Were you listening at the door, Mr. Black?"

She seemed to have hit the nail on the head, as the one and only Black heir now resembled a deer caught in headlights.

"Listening ...? Like... eavesdropping? Noooo... I would never dream of doing that, your professorship! Whatever gave you the idea? But ... I think I'll just ... it was nice and all, here with you, but ... I'll just go now... I mean, James is alright again. I have complete faith that you can handle him from here on. By the way, did I ever tell you that I simply love your lessons?"

As he was talking, he had been slowly backing towards the door and with a last "See you later, Prongs." he fled from the room. It was always the same with him, but it didn't matter that much at the moment. She would have opportunities enough to 'talk' to him about his behaviour. Her gaze shifted towards James Potter, who swallowed nervously.

"Ehm... perhaps I should leave as well, professor. I know which OWLs and NEWTs I need to get into Auror Training, so ... so you really don't have to bother. I don't want to steal your precious time."

She observed him calculatingly and decided that yes, that would probably be for the best. The day had been much too long and she definitely needed that bath.

"Very well, Mr. Potter. You may go."

He sighed in obvious relief and started to walk to the door.

"But don't think this is over yet. There is still the matter of what you 'didn't do'."

James threw his professor a last glance, then exited the room as quickly as possible.

Minerva proceeded to massage her temples gingerly. Those two! If they would just put all of that intelligence, creativity and imagination to good use! But instead they were wreaking havoc wherever they went.

Nevertheless, she couldn't deny that they'd probably manage to get into Auror Academy with no problems at all. Their grades were excellent. Sometimes she really wondered how they were doing it...

Though all she cared about at the moment was getting to her quarters and forget everything about careers advice, so she gathered all of her papers and left the office. The day had certainly been exciting and she had to admit that she'd rarely had this much fun during careers advice, no matter how exasperating those ... those two mischief-makers were.

While walking down the corridors, an odd noise reached her ears. Was that singing? It seemed to come from the direction of the Great Hall...

She finally caught a few words, but she only had to hear 'Slytherin', 'snakes' and 'slimy' to decide that she didn't want to know more. At least not now.

So she hummed a silent tune to herself until she reached her rooms. When she slid into the hot bath-water, Professor McGonagall told herself firmly that tomorrow would be early enough to deal with the latest prank of the Marauders...

**THE END**

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Sirius: Yay! I was in the story!

Me: I honestly don't know how he managed to get in. It was not planned in any way.

Sirius: But I know! Absolutely no one can resist me, least of all her! I'm just too charming!

Me: Shut up, you! You'll not be in the next story. There won't even be a trace of you.

Sirius: She's lying. She's already started the next story and I'm the main character!

Me: You see, I'm obviously not able to write anything without the stupid mutt. I'm going to ponder the fact that he has too much power over me... In the meantime you could review and tell me what you think about it...

Sirius: Yeah, tell me how fabulously great I was once again! It was all thanks to me, that McGonagall didn't go bonkers!

Me: You heard him... Anyway, I hope you had fun and till next time!


End file.
